How To Make Assertiveness The New Normal
What does it mean to be assertive?
Assertiveness is nothing to be played with. In this article, we’re getting down to the business of taking care of business. These are critical times and it’s time to get serious and we do this about being assertive. We’re going to explore the topic of assertiveness; we’ll cover what it means to be assertive, how to become more assertive, and how to keep that assertiveness working for you.
Sourcing The Better Health Channel, “Being assertive means being direct about what you need, want, feel, or believe in a way that’s respectful of the views of others.” Being assertive can offer many benefits to almost every area of your life when kept in balance.
When you’re more assertive in the workplace, for example, you show your superiors and co-workers that you have the qualities and genius required of a leader and the confidence necessary to go for what you need or want and achieve it.
In your relationship, being assertive has a harvest of benefits but just like anything else we have to be mindful of how we use assertiveness for it can be a slippery slope.
Just the thought of being assertive can help you have the confidence. Assertiveness allows you to identify and be clear about what you want and need in any relationship, this is critical in improving communication between you and your partner by being true to yourself and ensuring the healthy state of your relationship.
What can you do to be more assertive?
BE TRUE TO YOURSELF!!! The first thing you have to do when trying to be more assertive is to make the decision to positively assert who you are in your views and self and commit to it. It’s not enough just to chant “I think I can, I think I can”. You have to commit.
Learn how to communicate by improving your listening skills. It is foolish fodder to attempt assertiveness with a closed ear and mind. Communicate openly and honestly while being respectful for those with whom your speaking. To be wise is to become an active listener.
You can not maneuver with skill like precision without an under and overstanding of another’s perspective. The key to having the right balance in your assertiveness is to respect and be mindful of others and allow them the space to be assertive, as well.
The Concise Oxford Dictionary defines assertiveness as:
“Forthright, positive, insistence on the recognition of one’s rights”
Benefits of Assertiveness
- Gain self-confidence and self-esteem
- Understand and recognize your feelings
- Earn respect from others
- Improve communication
- Create win-win situations
- Improve your decision-making skills
- Create honest relationships
- Gain more job satisfaction
Be steady Eddie. Learn to be cool, calm, and collective. There is no time or space for guilt-tripping, and use what is referred to as “I” statements. “I” statements (I think, I feel, I know) “I AM” are much more assertive and more constructive than “you” statements (you never, you always), which tend to make you appear as a complainer, accuser, and not a leader or problem solver.
How can you keep your assertiveness in check?
There’s a fine line between positive assertiveness and being a Jack Ass by approaching situations in an abrasive and rude manner. A good way to keep yourself in check and ensure you aren’t toeing that line is to be observant using your ears, eyes, and awareness, not just of yourself but of those around you.
Who are you? Do you know? Have you asked yourself lately? Take time to reflect on yourself, your behavior, and the choices you make. Be observant of how others behave around you; if your loved ones seem uncomfortable with your behavior or put off by your attitude, you should self-examine your assertiveness and adjust your attitude and listening skills.
Assertiveness can get you far in life and take you to places that you never imagined, but there’s a fine line between being positively assertive and being a prick. If you check yourself when applying your assertiveness and create a positive balance, you can go further and be happier in your life while saving your true essence.
Assertiveness can lead to promotions, healthier relationships, improved mental health, and a more positive self-image. Assertiveness is a trait that comes naturally to some but not to all. Maybe you weren’t born with this trait, that’s fine, you can develop this skill.
Take this with you: The life that you save may be your own. Let us together make our lives better through awareness and assertiveness to make the “new normal” OUR NORMAL.